Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
