the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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