Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
