yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
