You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
