either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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