We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
