nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You smell like stripper and shame
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
