I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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