It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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