today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
