margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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