I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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