I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
