just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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