I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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