this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
