You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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