If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
