I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
