I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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