Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
