when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
