He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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