You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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