i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
