Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
