I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
