This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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