Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
