Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
