That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Will you blow on my dice?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
