just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
worst night to have a conscience
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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