I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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