you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
