i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
