hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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