Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
