that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
