Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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