2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
