ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
