Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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