what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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