You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
