So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
