I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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