Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
