I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
