he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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