Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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