did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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